SHIFT receives a lot of emails from liberals—emails we like to call “love letters.” This Friday, we are continuing our tradition of spreading liberals’ love by sharing the best of those emails with you. So, without further ado, here is our latest installment of the top 5 liberal expressions of love:
1. The accuse-you-of-being-traitors-to-American-principles-based-on-a-confused-understanding-of-basic-political-philosophy expression of love.
“You folks do know our founders were Locke Social Contract Liberals, right? Very much like Kucinich and the Progressive Caucus. Conservatism was founded to “conserve” the old rule by the hereditary rich and the subjugation of the 99%..You folks would have fought for the British. Is that what you want?” -Brian
2. The condemn-you-to-an-eternity-of-hell-fire-and-damnation expression of love.
“WE ARE LIBERALS, and you guys can go to hell!!!” -Payo and Zoila
3. The question-the-integrity-of-an-entire-group-of-people-via-unfounded-and-misspelled-generalizations-followed-by-a-misspelled-obscene-suggestion expression of love.
“Deuschbag Republicans are liars and theives go funk yourselves.” -Mike
4. The nonsensical-rant-placing-all-blame-for-partisan-gridlock-on-Republicans expression of love.
“I’m sick and tired of you republicans constantly attacking our President and all of the other democratic principles that you say are inviolate. Why don’t you try to resolve problems instead of always “attacking” and say “no.” Try to work together. I will NEVER vote for another republican, although I have done so in the past for those who seem like reasonable human beings. Have you never heard of the word “compromise” to help make a difference? Also, climate change is a fact of life. So why don’t you repubs start thinking about what other Americans see as the truth??!! You all make me sick! Like I said, I will never ever vote for another one of you repubs–tea party especially! Get a life and act like an American. We all are Americans.” -Chan
5. The not-so-friendly-reminder-courtesy-of-a-union-member-who-can’t-spell-his-own-affiliation expression of love.
“I’m a Tesmster… Remember to go f*** yourself.” -Nathan