Inslee’s fact-finding mission to North Korea, details revealed

If you haven’t heard yet, North Korea became the first country to land a man on Saturn. An astronaut named Hung Il Gong piloted a one man spacecraft—which North Korea kept hidden from the rest of the world for decades—and managed to land it on the giant gas planet.

Judging that it was safe to do so, the North Korean astronaut proceeded to step out of his spacecraft and walk on the planet that lacks a definite surface. He then planted the North Korean flag on Saturn while praising Kim Jung-un.

North Koreans were treated to a live broadcast of the event. They heard play-by-play audio of what North Korean officials are calling “the absolute greatest human achievement of all time.”

Hung received a hero’s welcome back to North Korea. Reportedly, he brought back rock samples from Saturn for Kim Jung-un to keep as souvenirs.

Naturally, upon hearing of the news, Jay Inslee was quite impressed by the historic achievement. Since he was already in the area on a diplomatic trip, Inslee gathered up his crayons and made a detour to North Korea to learn more about the space expedition and participate in the celebratory festivities.

The primary purpose of Inslee’s trip to North Korea was to discover whether or not there are any carbon emission limits on Saturn. Specifically, Inslee and Kim Jung-un discussed whether or not the dictator would be opposed to implementing his cap-and-tax scheme and/or fuel mandate on the planet.

It appears that our very green governor is looking beyond establishing a reputation as our nation’s greenest governor—or even the world’s greenest leader. Given the success of North Korea’s Saturn landing, Inslee now has set his sights on becoming the universe’s greenest leader.

Coincidentally, this story is as true as Inslee’s promises not to raise taxes. And, despite reports, North Korea did not actually claim to land on Saturn as propaganda. The story originally appeared on an Irish satirical site.