Friday Funny: A mad lib courtesy of a state employee union

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Yesterday, Shift reported on the Office and Professional Employees International Union (OPEIU, AFL-CIO) Local 8’s messaging tips for activists speaking to state legislators. The union’s messaging tips contain a “Don’t” list, including don’t “talk to legislators about waste, fraud and abuse.”

The messaging tips also include a ready-made speech for activists in mad lib form. Presumably, activists are to stick to the script when speaking to legislators. So, we took it upon ourselves to fill-in the blanks. Enjoy!

 

How to prepare for a meeting with your legislator:

 

My name is _____Jane Doe_____, I’m from _____­_an alternate reality_____. I have been

                                                                                       legislative district/city

working for ­­­­­­­­­____the Department of Ecology____ for ____2____ years. I chose to work in

                                        agency/department

public service because_____ I believe Jay Inslee’s disproven claim that all the oysters are dying___.

                                            start with ‘I believe’ (name a value responsibility, opportunity, fairness, etc                                                                                                          

 As a ­­­­­­­­­­___government bureaucrat and environmental extremist___, I ____work hard to ensure

 

red-tape stays in place and Inslee’s extreme political agenda moves forward______. 

                                             describe your work and its impact                                                                                                                                                          

In the past ____0____ years, there have been a lot of cuts to my agency.

 

Budget reductions have led to __________little-to-no impact_________________.

              how cuts have harmed community/people who depend on services and/or affected recruitment & retention

This means/for example: ­­______Retention for state employee rates are higher than the national average 

 

and more than 80% of the state’s workforce have received pay raises in the past four years_____.

 

I took time off work to come here today  and ask ­___for more taxpayers’ hard-earned dollars______.

                                                                                                            what are you asking legislator to do?     

With your help we can_________receive more pay raises_________________.

                                                             bring it back to value statement

Can I count on you to _____stand by Inslee’s secret negotiations with state employee union executives

 

and grant pay hikes__________?

 

You can check out the original form here.

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