Shift recently reported on an almost-too-bizarre-to-believe story that came out of Seattle. Apparently, the City of Seattle believes that it is taxpayer money well spent to give someone $10,000 to live part time in the Fremont Bridge’s northwest tower and write poetry. Unfortunately for the would-be Seattle poet, he/she cannot actually live in the bridge… the room where the “living” would take place is not well heated and there is no running water.
Given the low standards the City of Seattle appears to be pitching for a “live-in” poet, we decided to come up with a list of alternate locations the city could consider for future artists to sit and write poetry/paint/compose…. all on the taxpayers’ dime, of course.
- Seated on the left knuckle of the Fremont Troll, questioning would be crossers of the Aurora Bridge… with riddles.
- Seated behind Bertha, the oft-defunct tunnel boring machine, composing cheerleading-esque rhymes in hopes of encouraging, well, progress.
- Riding the water taxis, which are so beloved by King County Executive Dow Constantine, back and forth composing and performing music in hopes of attracting actual paying customers.
- Attending all of Sound Transit’s board meetings and writing spoken word poetry based off the conservations of an unelected group of people who, for some inexplicable reason, have the power to allocate massive amounts of taxpayer dollars.
- Seated in the office of Seattle City Councilmember Kshama Sawant writing Bernie Sanders inspired short stories… because she’s never there anyway.