From the city that brought you Socialist Kshama Sawant and Indigneous People Day, comes the latest installment in the ridiculous reality that is Seattle’s politics. On Friday, Seattle Mayor Ed Murray pardoned a tofurky rather than an actual turkey. His staff insists that Murray’s intention was to draw attention to food drives rather than please People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Of course, due to the fact that PETA has asked President Obama to scrap the annual turkey pardon because the “tradition benefits the poultry industry,” we wouldn’t be surprised if that had something to do with the publicity stunt.
The pardoned tofurky was joined by an understudy in case, at any point in time, it became camera shy. The two tofurkys—who, to be perfectly clear, are inanimate food products made from a blend of wheat protein and tofu—were even named after Washington apples, Braeburn and Honeycrisp.
The Mayor’s press release states, “Braeburn the Tofurky will live out its natural life at the Rainier Valley Food Bank, the beneficiary of the food drive between Seattle City Council and the Mayor’s Office. Braeburn will be joined by his understudy, Honeycrisp.”
In other words, in one sweeping move, Murray rendered his pardon meaningless. Braeburn and Honeycrisp will—in theory—be eaten despite their pardon.
The Office of Secretary State Kim Wyman reacted by tweeting, “Only in Seattle.” We tend to agree.
— Secretary of State (@secstatewa) November 21, 2014